-- Business blog now available --

A quick note to say that I've set up my Business blog, to be able to speak with a clear voice on both personal and work issues (i.e. by having separate blogs).

Saturday 6 October 2012

Brené Brown and wholeheartedness

Introduction


A quick post about a recent discovery I made, and grateful for the serendipity that brought me!

I recently gained a new Twitter follower, @kabbenbock, over at @souterconsults. I usually find out about new followers through an e-mail alert, and those with bios that resonate with me I check out, and follow back, as appropriate.

@kabbenbock IRL is Andy Smith, who I was aware of him as one of the authors of The Dragonfly Effect: Quick, Effective, and Powerful Ways to Use Social Media to Drive Social Change.

I felt flattered to be followed by someone like Andy, and checked out his Twitterstream before tweeting my thanks for the follow. One of his tweets was:

Kare Anderson’s article includes this quote:
Ironically, the sharing of one’s vulnerability with trusted others is one of the prime gateways to overcoming shame according to the star of one of the ten most watched TED talks, Brene Brown. In Daring Greatly, she describes the paradoxical power of embracing our vulnerability and acknowledging our fears as a path towards being more courageous and connected with others. That means letting go of the need for certainty and control.
This intrigued me, and I sought out Brené’s TED talk.

Brené Brown

The following is an except from Brené Brown’s bio page:
Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW is a research professor at the University of HoustonGraduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.  
Brené is a nationally renowned speaker and has won numerous teaching awards, including the College’s Outstanding Faculty Award. Her groundbreaking work has been featured on PBS, NPR, CNN, and has appeared in The Washington Post,Psychology Today, and many other national media outlets.

Her 2010 TEDxHouston talk on the power of vulnerability is one of most watched talks on TED.com, with approximately 5 million views. She gave the closing talk, Listening to Shame,  at the 2012 TED Conference in Long Beach. 

TED Videos

The videos are below. The first has now reached 6.1m views; the second is on its way towards 1.5m. Half a dozen of these combined views are from me! ;-)

The Power of Vulnerability



The blurb for this TED talk is:
Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share. (Filmed at TEDxHouston.)  

Listening to Shame



Blurb for this one is:
Shame is an unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behavior. Brené Brown, whose earlier talk on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores what can happen when people confront their shame head-on. Her own humor, humanity and vulnerability shine through every word.
IMHO even more powerful than the first talk. I love Brené’s admixture of vulnerability, insight, and joy. Thank you, Brené! :-D

I've put in YouTube versions of these talks as they're easier to tweak to fit in the blog design...

Videos for further context

I've gone a bit crazy with all these videos, but this for me is extraordinary stuff! Let me know if it takes an age to load...

TEDxKC - Brené Brown - The Price of Invulnerability


Shame & Empathy by Dr. Brené Brown



Resources

Check out Brené’s resources page for links to videos, podcasts, and online articles.

Books

I’m still in the early stages of exploring Brené’s work, however I’ve cued up Brené’s books on my Amazon wishlist:
  1. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME (BUT IT ISN'T): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power
  2. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to be and Embrace Who You are
  3. Daring Greatly

Podcasts

I’m a big fan of podcasts, and have listened to the Smart People Podcast interview with Brené. The first 5 minutes or so are context, which I’ve fast-forwarded when I’ve listened to the podcast again! ;-). Direct link

You may also want to check out this interview with Koren Motekaitis with is rather tremendous. Direct link.

Wholeheartedness

On of the key outcomes for Brené’s research has been that some people are what she calls “wholehearted” – in summary, they are confident that they are ‘enough’ and worthy of other people’s love.

I guess that’s the point of her writings, so I plan to read them after Loving What Is by Byron Katie, and Coming to Our Senses by Jon Kabat-Zinn. The books-to-read pile is growing! ;-)

Graphics

These are some graphics from Brené’s website which I am posting here to bring to a wider audience. I’m seeking to “be the change I’m trying to create”.

 


Wash up

I’m sharing these materials as they have resonated strongly with me. Whilst I’m keen to read all three books straight away, I sense that part of me is seeking in them “the answer” which I am coming to realise doesn’t really exist. I am confident that they will, however, be part of the solution!

I also like the idea that they are something to ‘move towards’, rather than ‘move away from’ – in the words of a buddy of mine. That puts Brené’s work in the same category as the positive psychology movement, in that it is creating new skills, rather than sorting out the past. Time to leave the past and create the future!

UPDATE 06/10/12: Added link for podcast interview with Koren Motekaitis.

Thursday 4 October 2012

The Power of TED* - summary presentation to Action for Happiness North East

Introduction


Although I am an avid student of personal development materials in order to become more present and mindful, I am deeply indebted to my learnings from The Power of TED*. TED, in this instance, refers to the Empowerment Dynamic.

This post is a reflection on how much I have gained from my (so far) six readings of the book!

Slide deck

Way back in the Spring I presented this summary slide deck to Action for Happiness North East, a group I help found earlier this year, and about which I’ve already blogged about here.


TED* Library

Check out the TED* library, full of podcasts, articles, and videos. Mmm, podcasts! I am still a regular listener to these podcasts, to help embed my learnings.
The following videos are linked through from the library page.

Describing TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)

David Emerald describes TED*

Master Certified Coach Molly Gordon Talks TED*



Reflections

Key things I have learned from both reading the TED* book, and attending the TED* for Coaches webinar series:
  • Decide what you’re for
    • It was surprisingly challenging to find answers to the question “what do I really want, what am seeking to create”
  • Taking quiet time in the mornings
  • See other people as creators
    • Everyone has potential – it is up to us to be connected with the creator in other people
  • Interpret life situations through the lens of the empowerment dynamic
    • Although much of life seems to correspond to the Drama Triangle, I find it more empowering to keep in mind what one wants to create!
  • Choose choice
    • We’re all at choice, all of the time. It’s empowering to know this, and to consciously choose choice and choose to be a creator.
I could carry on in this vein – however this’ll do for now ;-)

Wash up

Reading The Power of TED* and working to absorb the lessons has been a watershed moment for me. I feel really grateful to be able to take on the learnings, and happy to share them with others – and answer any questions.

Definitely worthwhile saying many thanks to both David Emerald and Donna Zajonc for their help in my growth!